Sunday Stretch: Father's Day 2025

A meditation on Father's Day in the Church - and a new vision of "God the Father"

Hi Readers,

A quick update: I wrote this post prior to the tragic assassination early Saturday morning of MN House Speaker emerita Melissa Hortman and her husband, and the attempted assassination of MN Rep. John Hoffman and his wife. I did not know Melissa Hortman well, but she was a huge source of inspiration for me. I am gutted by this news. Please continue to pray for healing for Rep. Hoffman and Yvette, and for all the Hortmans’ loved ones as they grieve. We must continue to fight against the ascent of violence and authoritarianism in America.

We continue our late spring/early summer run here of “special Sundays” today with another secular Sunday holiday, Father’s Day.

A couple of years ago, I had the chance to take some time to consider how to address Father’s Day in the church. I think it’s important to do so, especially because churches have traditionally emphasized Mother’s Day but tended to sort of ignore Father’s Day. I think that partially reflects the sense in our culture that motherhood is a defining part of female identity, while male caregiving and parenting is often minimized.

Also - in traditional Christian theology and language, God is most often referred to as Father, which can be tough for people who have difficult relationships or grief around their relationships with fathers or children.

As usual, though, Jesus offers a grace-filled way forward. Following that inspiration, I want to share with you below the texts for today - with a single word from each that I’d like to invite you to meditate on when thinking about both fatherhood in an earthly sense and what it means for God the Father to have this attribute.

I’ll also share a piece below that I wrote to help us think through how to address Father’s Day in the church.

I pray all of you feel a sense of God’s deep love today, and that you are comforted by the words I am about to share.

Let’s get to the texts!

PS: Especially after writing Disciples of White Jesus, I’m thinking all the time about how to share more expansive narratives about men, boys, and masculinity - to counter the onslaught of online and in-person radicalization that encourages men and boys to be angry, violent, and shun empathy. So I think Father’s Day is a really good opportunity to expand our understanding of the role of dads (and all those who play the role of dad/special male loved one in children’s lives!)

PPS: I’m preaching twice this morning here in Minneapolis at St. Peder’s Lutheran Church at 9 a.m., and then at my home congregation, Lake Nokomis Lutheran, at 10:45 a.m. I’ll be sharing a message from Exodus 5:1-2; 7:8-23, about the hardening of Pharaoh’s heart, his tragic story, and how Moses (and Jesus and God) offer us a different vision of manhood/a father’s love. Hope to see some of you there!

Celebrating this awesome dad at our house today!

Bible Readings this Week

Proverbs 8:1-4, 22-31 | DELIGHTING

Prov. 8:1 Does not wisdom call,

and does not understanding raise her voice?

² On the heights, beside the way,

at the crossroads she takes her stand;

³ beside the gates in front of the town,

at the entrance of the portals she cries out:

⁴ “To you, O people, I call,

and my cry is to all that live.

Wisdom’s Part in Creation

Prov. 8:22 The LORD created me at the beginning^a of his work,^b

the first of his acts of long ago.

²³ Ages ago I was set up,

at the first, before the beginning of the earth.

²⁴ When there were no depths I was brought forth,

when there were no springs abounding with water.

²⁵ Before the mountains had been shaped,

before the hills, I was brought forth—

²⁶ when he had not yet made earth and fields,^a

or the world’s first bits of soil.

²⁷ When he established the heavens, I was there,

when he drew a circle on the face of the deep,

²⁸ when he made firm the skies above,

when he established the fountains of the deep,

²⁹ when he assigned to the sea its limit,

so that the waters might not transgress his command,

when he marked out the foundations of the earth,

³⁰ then I was beside him, like a master worker;^a

and I was daily his^b delight,

rejoicing before him always,

³¹ rejoicing in his inhabited world

and delighting in the human race.

Romans 5:1-5 | SHARING

Rom. 5:1 Therefore, since we are justified by faith, we^a have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, ² through whom we have obtained access^a to this grace in which we stand; and we^b boast in our hope of sharing the glory of God. ³ And not only that, but we^a also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, ⁴ and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, ⁵ and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us.

John 16:12-15 | HEARS

John 16:12 “I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. ¹³ When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth; for he will not speak on his own, but will speak whatever he hears, and he will declare to you the things that are to come. ¹⁴ He will glorify me, because he will take what is mine and declare it to you. ¹⁵ All that the Father has is mine. For this reason I said that he will take what is mine and declare it to you.

God, Our Father: A Meditation for Father’s Day

Originally published at Church Anew

Each day before meals or bed, my (then) 5-year-old son, when called upon to pray, recited a simple prayer he learned during a short-lived stint at an Evangelical preschool:

God our Father … God our Father …

The prayer is simple and short, and every time I hear him pray it, I am simultaneously so grateful that my 5-year-old knows how to pray, and also chiding myself that I should teach him that God is not exclusively male.

Such are the complications of an over-studied faith life.

Whatever my own misgivings about how popular culture continues to depict God, the truth is that God as Father remains the most predominant motif for God in American Christianity - and beyond. Many a camp counselor or worship leader has begun a prayer in this way: Father God … we just …

Almost every Sunday, church leaders across America begin worship with an invocation: in the name of the Father …

I wonder this year, as Father’s Day 2025 emerges out of the shadow of a global pandemic and national unrest, reckoning with racism and ongoing sexual abuse crises in the American church, (added for 2025: and an onslaught of attacks on immigrants and violent threats against protesters), if we should begin not by dismantling the language or gender of the Trinity itself but simply by reclaiming what it means that the masculinity of God is defined by the relational role of Father, and not by the cowboy, gun-toting masculinity popularized by many an American Christian leader or politician.

I’ve been thinking about this idea this week as Father’s Day approaches, because I’ve noticed a certain discrepancy in how the American Church approaches Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. Each year that I’ve spent in pastoral ministry, over a decade, I’ve been inundated by a horde of think-pieces and conversations about how the church ought to approach the secular holiday of Mother’s Day.

Some churches overdo: with chrysanthemums and applause and photo booths; other churches decide not to mention mothers at all. There is important and needed conversation about approaching Mother’s Day in church for all women: those struggling with infertility, those who are childless by choice; those who have recently lost their mothers; those who have a complicated or difficult relationship with their mothers.

As a mom myself, for almost 13 years, even I found it a little bit exhausting. There didn’t seem to be a right way to do Mother’s Day in the church. Every approach seemed over-studied and under-practiced. I did my best to pray an inclusive prayer this year and left it at that.

Now, it is Father’s Day again in 2025, and I’ve heard almost nothing about how churches and church leaders plan to address Father’s Day in the church, save for perhaps singing Chris Tomlin’s Good, Good Father, if your worship is led by guitars; or Faith of Our Fathers; if you rely on an organ. There is no hand-wringing about honoring fathers but leaving out men who aren’t dads, by circumstance or by choice. There is no exchange of prayers and litanies, or discussions about how much or how little to honor dads on Father’s Day.

What little conversation there is about Father’s Day too often seems limited to beer and barbecue, if the cards I saw at Trader Joe’s are any indication. And this in itself is a sad commentary, for the ways it isolates and ignores the reality of alcoholism among American dads and families.

This vast discrepancy between over-conversation in the church regarding Mother’s Day and utter silence on Father’s Day reveals to me the very different ways that men and women have their identity constructed in much of American Christianity and American culture in general.

Women are almost always identified relationally: by our roles and relationships to others. We are valued for being kind, considerate, communicative and cooperative. In the church, we are too often viewed as analogous to Mary, the mother of Jesus. Motherhood has been called a Christian woman’s greatest calling, which does a great disservice to the broad and long history of female prophets, preachers and teachers, many of whom were never married.

For American Christian men, on the other hand, identity is constructed individually. The cult of rugged individualism does its greatest disservice to American men, who are encouraged to aspire to be the “strong, silent type.” After all, “there’s no crying in baseball.” The ideal American man needs nothing but his muscles, his pick-up truck, and his guns. If he is defined relationally, it is of a hierarchical sort, where he is the head of his wife and his children and his house, rather than coexisting in a symbiotic relationship.

Here’s where we must consider God the Father, however.

The idea that the Christian God has always been defined only in relationship strikes a mortal wound to the idea that the ideal Christian man must be an island, entire of himself.

After all, defining God predominately as God the Father means that the God who Christians worship is defined by God’s relationships, and as such, can exist only in relationship to God the Son and God the Holy Spirit: God in three persons, blessed Trinity.

What does this all have to do with Father’s Day in the church? Well, I’m not suggesting pinning flowers to the breast of each man in attendance, though it might be a fun idea and a good photo op. Instead, what I am suggesting first for American churches and church leaders is to simply imagine the transformative power of a witness for American masculinity that is rooted in relationship and family. Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 11 notwithstanding (and these words in context depict a familial mutuality rather than hierarchical headship), the Biblical view of fatherhood is one of quiet gentleness, forgiveness, and strength rooted in what often appears to be weakness.

This Father’s Day, if you think about or pray about or preach about fatherhood in your church, I encourage you to wonder about how differently Americans might view God if we constructed an image of God based on the father of the Prodigal Son, one of Jesus’ most powerful parables.

This father gave freely to his son what he had not earned, and then after his son abandoned him and his work, when the son returned to his father, contrite and penniless, his father did not kick him when he was down, demand restitution with interest, or spew hateful words about freeloaders and those who do not work hard enough. Instead, this gentle, forgiving, and relational father instantly forgives his son, and throws him a welcome party. Because more important than his money or his honor, this father, acting in the image of God the Father, valued love, and the dignity of each individual human life in relationship to his own.

PRAYER

Dear God,

On this Father’s Day, I’m grateful that you have chosen to interact with your creation in a model of mutual submission, love, forgiveness, and generosity. Today I pray for the fathers and father figures in my life, and I give thanks for the memories and all the times we’ve spent together, learning, laughing, and growing, even when it’s hard. I pray today for all those who are grieving the loss of a father or father figure in their life. I pray for Dads and kids whose relationship has become strained or irretrievably broken. I pray for Dads and kids who want to apologize or ask for forgiveness but haven’t been able to find the words. I pray for a line of communication in your time, dear God. I pray for release for those whose relationship with their father has been painful or even abusive, that they would find safety and hope and endurance. I pray for those who long to become dads but haven’t been able to. For those dads who have suffered the heartbreaking loss of a child. And for all those God, seeking to love as a father in the model of your self-sacrificing, honest, forgiving, patient, and welcoming love.

In Jesus’ name we pray,

AMEN

This has been a special free edition of the Sunday Stretch for all subscribers. Typically this Sunday newsletter is only for paid subscribers. Thank you all for subscribing and to paid subscribers for keeping this effort one that is sustainable for me! I look forward to sharing this time with you each week.

An Invitation

A Community that prays for one another is transformed by the power of the Spirit. We’ve been praying for and with each other now for over two years! About once a quarter, I will re-start this space for prayer requests and praises. Please email with your own requests and I will share here with your permission!

Today is the Sunday of Pentecost, so we are re-starting prayer requests this week. Please do send your requests to add here to the list!

1. We pray today on Father’s Day for all fathers and father figures, giving thanks for the gift of relationship and family - that goes beyond our narrow understanding of both to encompass the love of a generous Creator.

2. Today especially we are grieving our first Father’s Day without my father-in-law, who died last fall. Please be with all those who are celebrating their first Father’s Day without their father or father figure today.

3. As we come to the end of the school year, may God bless all those who are graduating high school or college, as well as all students who are moving on to a new school year. Give patience and energy to tired educators, students, and parents. And help all of us to lift up the power of education and support students, families, and educators in our communities - without trying to police and sanction what they teach and learn.

4. Thank you for the blessings and support I’ve received as I have launched my new book and traveled to speak again. Please continue to expand this community of listening, understanding, and inspiration - and may my words be received with open hearts and new questions and opportunities for growth.

5. For all impacted across the U.S. and the world by strong summer storms and wildfires in Canada: grant them the assistance and the support they need to repair and rebuild, and provide shelter for all who are experiencing homelessness.

6. We pray for immigrants, migrants, and all those who are undocumented. May they be given sanctuary and support in America. May our churches find ways to resist the politics of demonization of immigrants. We pray today especially for all of those impacted by last week’s raids in Minneapolis and the ongoing escalation of violence in Los Angeles.

7. For the people of Boulder, Colo., after a terrorist attack on a rally for hostages who are remaining in Gaza, may we all seek to lift up nonviolence in pursuit of justice, and condemn the means of terror.

8. For American federal government employees: may they continue to do their work with dignity and honesty and without the threat of political retribution. Also for aid workers and organizations who have been threatened and who have lost their funding access: that they may be given pathways forward to continue their work.

9. For brave faith leaders who dare to speak out against powerful political leaders

10. As we continue into Summer, we pray with deep sighs for the war and death and violence in the Holy Land. We continue to pray for an end to escalating violence in Israel, Gaza, Lebanon, Syria, and throughout the Middle East - as well as in Sudan and Yemen. May world leaders prioritize peace over power, and mercy over might. May those who cry out for justice and an end to war be protected and heard.

11. May all those who are providing aid and food, and seeking assistance in Gaza be protected in the midst of violence around food distribution.

12. For all immigrants and migrants around the world, far from home, seeking a new and safe homeland. Might they be embraced where they go, offered assistance and solidarity and friendship.

13. Be with all American lawmakers in this time of political upheavals and corruption by business leaders and wealthy individuals. Give them courage to speak truth and govern with care for humanity and life.

14. For so many loved ones of mine who have recently been diagnosed with cancer and are undergoing treatment. May they have caring and high-quality care, rest as needed, and loving support of family and friends.

15. We also pray for all those who are caring for loved ones who are going through myriad health challenges, including mental health and addiction. Grant them rest and relief in the midst of difficult and tiring times.

16. For those who continue to live and fight in Ukraine, that the world will not turn away its attention from the plight of Ukrainians and their stand against authoritarian Russia.

17. For all those who don’t have a safe place to live or enough food to eat, that they might be first and receive what they need.

18. For all those who are at risk and living outdoors in a time of extreme summer heat, and for farmworkers who often face extreme conditions outdoors.

19. For all around the world who face persecution for their religious beliefs, especially for religious minorities in places where governments sanction religion-based violence

20. For Christians to be emboldened to speak out courageously against anti-semitism and to acknowledge how we have been complicit in anti-semitic actions and speech against our Jewish siblings

21. For governments and leaders to prioritize climate change solutions and not be only ruled by profit or big business

22. For journalists, who risk their lives and livelihood to write and report truth - even against the wishes of media ownership and administration

23. For all the concerns deep on our hearts, that you hear and know and acknowledge, we pray …

In the boundless joy of a Spirit-filled existence, to worship God with exuberance, excitement, love, and inclusion,

In Jesus’ name we pray,

AMEN

P.S. …

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