Sunday Stretch: Father's Day 2024

A meditation on Father's Day in the Church - and a new vision of "God the Father"

Hi Readers,

We continue our late spring/early summer run here of “special Sundays” today with another secular Sunday holiday, Father’s Day.

Last year, I had the chance to take some time to consider how to address Father’s Day in the church. I think it’s important to do so, especially because churches have traditionally emphasized Mother’s Day but tended to sort of ignore Father’s Day. I think that partially reflects the sense in our culture that motherhood is a defining part of female identity, while male caregiving and parenting is often minimized.

Also - in traditional Christian theology and language, God is most often referred to as Father, which can be tough for people who have difficult relationships or grief around their relationships with fathers or children.

As usual, though, Jesus offers a grace-filled way forward. Following that inspiration, I want to share with you below the texts for today - with a single word from each that I’d like to invite you to meditate on when thinking about both fatherhood in an earthly sense and what it means for God the Father to have this attribute.

I’ll also share a piece below that I wrote to help us think through how to address Father’s Day in the church.

I pray all of you feel a sense of God’s deep love today, and that you are comforted by the words I am about to share.

Let’s get to the texts!

My husband, Ben, with our oldest son, Jacob (and younger brother Josh in the background)

Bible Readings this Week

Ezekiel 17:22-24 | TENDER

Thus says the Lord GOD:

I myself will take a sprig

from the lofty top of a cedar;

I will set it out.

I will break off a tender one

from the topmost of its young twigs;

I myself will plant it

on a high and lofty mountain.

²³ On the mountain height of Israel

I will plant it,

in order that it may produce boughs and bear fruit,

and become a noble cedar.

Under it every kind of bird will live;

in the shade of its branches will nest

winged creatures of every kind.

²⁴ All the trees of the field shall know

that I am the LORD.

I bring low the high tree,

I make high the low tree;

I dry up the green tree

and make the dry tree flourish.

I the LORD have spoken;

I will accomplish it.

2 Corinthians 5:6-10, 14-17 | CONFIDENT

So we are always confident; even though we know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord— ⁷ for we walk by faith, not by sight. ⁸ Yes, we do have confidence, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. ⁹ So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him. ¹⁰ For all of us must appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each may receive recompense for what has been done in the body, whether good or evil.

2Cor. 5:14 For the love of Christ urges us on, because we are convinced that one has died for all; therefore all have died. ¹⁵ And he died for all, so that those who live might live no longer for themselves, but for him who died and was raised for them.

2Cor. 5:16   From now on, therefore, we regard no one from a human point of view;^a even though we once knew Christ from a human point of view,^b we know him no longer in that way. ¹⁷ So if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new!

Mark 4:26-34 | SMALL

He also said, “The kingdom of God is as if someone would scatter seed on the ground, ²⁷ and would sleep and rise night and day, and the seed would sprout and grow, he does not know how. ²⁸ The earth produces of itself, first the stalk, then the head, then the full grain in the head. ²⁹ But when the grain is ripe, at once he goes in with his sickle, because the harvest has come.”

Mark 4:30   He also said, “With what can we compare the kingdom of God, or what parable will we use for it? ³¹ It is like a mustard seed, which, when sown upon the ground, is the smallest of all the seeds on earth; ³² yet when it is sown it grows up and becomes the greatest of all shrubs, and puts forth large branches, so that the birds of the air can make nests in its shade.”

Mark 4:33   With many such parables he spoke the word to them, as they were able to hear it; ³⁴ he did not speak to them except in parables, but he explained everything in private to his disciples.

God, Our Father: A Meditation for Father’s Day

Originally published at Church Anew

Each day before meals or bed, my (then) 5-year-old son, when called upon to pray, recited a simple prayer he learned during a short-lived stint at an Evangelical preschool:

God our Father … God our Father …

The prayer is simple and short, and every time I hear him pray it, I am simultaneously so grateful that my 5-year-old knows how to pray, and also chiding myself that I should teach him that God is not exclusively male.

Such are the complications of an over-studied faith life.

Whatever my own misgivings about how popular culture continues to depict God, the truth is that God as Father remains the most predominant motif for God in American Christianity - and beyond. Many a camp counselor or worship leader has begun a prayer in this way: Father God … we just …

Almost every Sunday, church leaders across America begin worship with an invocation: in the name of the Father …

I wonder this year, as Father’s Day 2024 emerges out of the shadow of a global pandemic and national unrest, reckoning with racism and ongoing sexual abuse crises in the American church, if we should begin not by dismantling the language or gender of the Trinity itself but simply by reclaiming what it means that the masculinity of God is defined by the relational role of Father, and not by the cowboy, gun-toting masculinity popularized by many an American Christian leader or politician.

I’ve been thinking about this idea this week as Father’s Day approaches, because I’ve noticed a certain discrepancy in how the American Church approaches Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. Each year that I’ve spent in pastoral ministry, over a decade, I’ve been inundated by a horde of think-pieces and conversations about how the church ought to approach the secular holiday of Mother’s Day.

Some churches overdo: with chrysanthemums and applause and photo booths; other churches decide not to mention mothers at all. There is important and needed conversation about approaching Mother’s Day in church for all women: those struggling with infertility, those who are childless by choice; those who have recently lost their mothers; those who have a complicated or difficult relationship with their mothers.

As a mom myself, for almost 12 years, even I found it a little bit exhausting. There didn’t seem to be a right way to do Mother’s Day in the church. Every approach seemed over-studied and under-practiced. I did my best to pray an inclusive prayer this year and left it at that.

Now, it is Father’s Day again in 2024, and I’ve heard almost nothing about how churches and church leaders plan to address Father’s Day in the church, save for perhaps singing Chris Tomlin’s Good, Good Father, if your worship is led by guitars; or Faith of Our Fathers; if you rely on an organ. There is no hand-wringing about honoring fathers but leaving out men who aren’t dads, by circumstance or by choice. There is no exchange of prayers and litanies, or discussions about how much or how little to honor dads on Father’s Day. 

What little conversation there is about Father’s Day too often seems limited to beer and barbecue, if the cards I saw at Trader Joe’s are any indication. And this in itself is a sad commentary, for the ways it isolates and ignores the reality of alcoholism among American dads and families.

This vast discrepancy between over-conversation in the church regarding Mother’s Day and utter silence on Father’s Day reveals to me the very different ways that men and women have their identity constructed in much of American Christianity and American culture in general.

Women are almost always identified relationally: by our roles and relationships to others. We are valued for being kind, considerate, communicative and cooperative. In the church, we are too often viewed as analogous to Mary, the mother of Jesus. Motherhood has been called a Christian woman’s greatest calling, which does a great disservice to the broad and long history of female prophets, preachers and teachers, many of whom were never married.

For American Christian men, on the other hand, identity is constructed individually. The cult of rugged individualism does its greatest disservice to American men, who are encouraged to aspire to be the “strong, silent type.” After all, “there’s no crying in baseball.” The ideal American man needs nothing but his muscles, his pick-up truck, and his guns. If he is defined relationally, it is of a hierarchical sort, where he is the head of his wife and his children and his house, rather than coexisting in a symbiotic relationship.

Here’s where we must consider God the Father, however.

The idea that the Christian God has always been defined only in relationship strikes a mortal wound to the idea that the ideal Christian man must be an island, entire of himself.

After all, defining God predominately as God the Father means that the God who Christians worship is defined by God’s relationships, and as such, can exist only in relationship to God the Son and God the Holy Spirit: God in three persons, blessed Trinity.

What does this all have to do with Father’s Day in the church? Well, I’m not suggesting pinning flowers to the breast of each man in attendance, though it might be a fun idea and a good photo op. Instead, what I am suggesting first for American churches and church leaders is to simply imagine the transformative power of a witness for American masculinity that is rooted in relationship and family. Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 11 notwithstanding (and these words in context depict a familial mutuality rather than hierarchical headship), the Biblical view of fatherhood is one of quiet gentleness, forgiveness, and strength rooted in what often appears to be weakness.

This Father’s Day, if you think about or pray about or preach about fatherhood in your church, I encourage you to wonder about how differently Americans might view God if we constructed an image of God based on the father of the Prodigal Son, one of Jesus’ most powerful parables.

This father gave freely to his son what he had not earned, and then after his son abandoned him and his work, when the son returned to his father, contrite and penniless, his father did not kick him when he was down, demand restitution with interest, or spew hateful words about freeloaders and those who do not work hard enough. Instead, this gentle, forgiving, and relational father instantly forgives his son, and throws him a welcome party. Because more important than his money or his honor, this father, acting in the image of God the Father, valued love, and the dignity of each individual human life in relationship to his own.

PRAYER

Dear God,

On this Father’s Day, I’m grateful that you have chosen to interact with your creation in a model of mutual submission, love, forgiveness, and generosity. Today I pray for the fathers and father figures in my life, and I give thanks for the memories and all the times we’ve spent together, learning, laughing, and growing, even when it’s hard. I pray today for all those who are grieving the loss of a father or father figure in their life. I pray for Dads and kids whose relationship has become strained or irretrievably broken. I pray for Dads and kids who want to apologize or ask for forgiveness but haven’t been able to find the words. I pray for a line of communication in your time, dear God. I pray for release for those whose relationship with their father has been painful or even abusive, that they would find safety and hope and endurance. I pray for those who long to become dads but haven’t been able to. For those dads who have suffered the heartbreaking loss of a child. And for all those God, seeking to love as a father in the model of your self-sacrificing, honest, forgiving, patient, and welcoming love.

In Jesus’ name we pray,

AMEN

This has been a special free edition of the Sunday Stretch for all subscribers. Typically this Sunday newsletter is only for paid subscribers. Thank you all for subscribing and to paid subscribers for keeping this effort one that is sustainable for me! I look forward to sharing this time with you each week.

An Invitation

A Community that prays for one another is transformed by the power of the Spirit. We’ve been praying for and with each other now for over a year! For the new year, and about once a quarter, I will re-start this space for prayer requests and praises. Please email with your own requests and I will share here with your permission!

We have begun a new season (PENTECOST) of the Church Year, which means I have restarted our section here for prayer requests. Please hit REPLY to this email or leave a comment to add a public or private prayer request to this list. Thanks for praying with me!

1. In this summer season of extreme weather and storms, be with all those in their path. Protect farmworkers and construction workers and all those who work outside from extreme heat, and give them ample rest and water. Provide resources and support to all those who have faced destruction from storms. Help us to live with compassion for one another, and sober honesty about ways to slow the pace of climate change and global warming.

2. We pray today on Father’s Day for all fathers and father figures, giving thanks for the gift of relationship and family - that goes beyond our narrow understanding of both to encompass the love of a generous Creator.

3. For students, teachers, administrators, parents and families as school years come to an end. May all know the good work they have done this school year, and be filled with the energy of learning - even throughout the summer and the rest of their lives after graduation.

4. In this Pride Month, help churches to be places of welcome, acceptance, understanding and listening, especially for LGBTQ+ people.

5. For so many loved ones of mine who have recently been diagnosed with cancer and are undergoing treatment. May they have caring and high-quality care, rest as needed, and loving support of family and friends.

6. For a college friend of mine’s daughter, who was recently diagnosed with cancer and is recovering from emergency surgery.

7. We also pray for all those who are caring for loved ones who are going through myriad health challenges. Grant them rest and relief in the midst of difficult and tiring times.

8. For ongoing war and bloodshed in Israel and Gaza, that humanitarian pathways will be opened up to make way for food and supplies into Gaza, that a way forward out of war will be heard by Israel and Hamas, that all those in danger, including hostages, will be protected and set free. For all leaders to prioritize human life over power.

9. In Gaza, we pray especially for Sully’s loved ones (and all of our loved ones throughout the Holy Land in Israel and Palestine) that they might find protection and safety, and be able to gain safe shelter and access to their homes, or to be able to escape to safety in other countries.

10. For those who continue to live and fight in Ukraine, that the world will not turn away its attention from the plight of Ukrainians and their stand against authoritarian Russia.

11. For the United States and her politicians. That governmental leaders might see themselves as servants and examples, and for wisdom and courage for all who serve in government, especially the judicial system as it faces former President Trump’s cases.

12. For all those who don’t have a safe place to live or enough food to eat, that they might be first and receive what they need.

13. For all those living with addiction and mental illness, that they might find a way into recovery

14. For farmers and all those tending fields, gardens, and livestock. For farmworkers and those who travel north in the summer to work under difficult conditions: may be they be treated humanely and granted safety and fair working and living conditions.

15. For all around the world who face persecution for their religious beliefs, especially for religious minorities in places where governments sanction religion-based violence

16. For Christians to be emboldened to speak out courageously against anti-semitism and to acknowledge how we have been complicit in anti-semitic actions and speech against our Jewish siblings

17. For governments and leaders to prioritize climate change solutions and not be only ruled by profit or big business

18. For all the concerns deep on our hearts, that you hear and know and acknowledge, we pray …

In the boundless joy of a Spirit-filled existence, to worship God with exuberance, excitement, love, and inclusion,

In Jesus’ name we pray,

AMEN

P.S. …

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