Sunday Stretch: Father's Day 2023

A meditation on Father's Day in the Church - and a new vision of "God the Father"

Dear Readers,

Even as I just wrote last week’s introduction to this season of Ordinary Time - I’m reminded today that the secular holidays of the United States certainly don’t follow the church calendar. Today, the second Sunday of Ordinary Time - is not quite ordinary - because it’s Father’s Day!

Now, much like Mother’s Day, Father’s Day can sometimes be an interesting holiday to navigate as a church leader, or just a person in general! People have complicated feelings about their dads; many are grieving dads who have died, and others are experiencing the loss of not being able to become a father for a number of reasons. Others are estranged from their dad or from their kids, or there is latent “unfinished business” that brings uncertainty when it comes to recognizing this holiday.

But unlike Mother’s Day, Father’s Day doesn’t come with a lot of resources in the church. I think some of that is cultural coding, which tells us that women are more “emotional,” and somehow men are supposed to be simpler, content with barbecue and beer. Now as any parent of boys knows, this is a myth. Boys have big feelings, too!

So what I wanted to do for all of us today is to step away from our “ordinary” format, and share with you a mediation on Father’s Day and a fathering God that I wrote for Church Anew a few years ago, with updates for 2023. You’ll find that meditation below.

I’m also preaching this morning again at Prince of Peace Lutheran Church in Brooklyn Park, Minn., at 9:30 a.m. CT. You can view the livestream here (click the LIVE tab), and it’ll be available as a recording after the fact. In that sermon, I’ll be focusing on three attributes of fatherly love we find in the Bible, from Psalm 100 (LAUGH), Romans 5 (ENDURE) and Matthew 9-10 (DO). I encourage you to read and meditate on the texts below. And after the meditation, I will include our usual prayer space and requests space. Thanks for joining me each Sunday!

Love to you and to all those (of any gender!) who’ve played a fathering role in your life,

Angela

Projects with Dad in the late ‘80s - early ‘90s

Bible Readings this Week

Psalm 100 | LAUGH

Psa. 100:0   A Psalm of thanksgiving.

¹ Make a joyful noise to the LORD, all the earth.

² Worship the LORD with gladness;

come into his presence with singing.

Psa. 100:3    Know that the LORD is God.

It is he that made us, and we are his;

we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

Psa. 100:4    Enter his gates with thanksgiving,

and his courts with praise.

Give thanks to him, bless his name.

Psa. 100:5    For the LORD is good;

his steadfast love endures forever,

and his faithfulness to all generations.

Romans 5:1-8 | ENDURE

Rom. 5:1   Therefore, since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,  ² through whom we have obtained access to this grace in which we stand; and we boast in our hope of sharing the glory of God.  ³ And not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance,  ⁴ and endurance produces character, and character produces hope,  ⁵ and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us.

Rom. 5:6   For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.  ⁷ Indeed, rarely will anyone die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person someone might actually dare to die.  ⁸ But God proves his love for us in that while we still were sinners Christ died for us.

Matthew 9:35-10:8 | DO

Matt. 9:35   Then Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, and proclaiming the good news of the kingdom, and curing every disease and every sickness.  ³⁶ When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.  ³⁷ Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few;  ³⁸ therefore ask the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.”

Matt. 10:1   Then Jesus summoned his twelve disciples and gave them authority over unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to cure every disease and every sickness.  ² These are the names of the twelve apostles: first, Simon, also known as Peter, and his brother Andrew; James son of Zebedee, and his brother John;  ³ Philip and Bartholomew; Thomas and Matthew the tax collector; James son of Alphaeus, and Thaddaeus;  ⁴ Simon the Cananaean, and Judas Iscariot, the one who betrayed him.

Matt. 10:5   These twelve Jesus sent out with the following instructions: “Go nowhere among the Gentiles, and enter no town of the Samaritans,  ⁶ but go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.  ⁷ As you go, proclaim the good news, ‘The kingdom of heaven has come near.’  ⁸ Cure the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, cast out demons. You received without payment; give without payment.

I encourage you to do these readings and meditate and each word above as an aspect of a God of fatherly love.

God, Our Father: A Meditation for Father’s Day

Originally published at Church Anew

Each day before meals or bed, my 5-year-old son, when called upon to pray, recites a simple prayer he learned during a short-lived stint at an Evangelical preschool:

God our Father … God our Father …

The prayer is simple and short, and every time I hear him pray it, I am simultaneously so grateful that my 5-year-old knows how to pray, and also chiding myself that I should teach him that God is not exclusively male.

Such are the complications of an over-studied faith life.

Whatever my own misgivings about how popular culture continues to depict God, the truth is that God as Father remains the most predominant motif for God in American Christianity - and beyond. Many a camp counselor or worship leader has begun a prayer in this way: Father God … we just …

Almost every Sunday, church leaders across America begin worship with an invocation: in the name of the Father …

I wonder this year, as Father’s Day 2023 emerges out of the (still ongoing) shadow of a global pandemic and national unrest, reckoning with racism and ongoing sexual abuse crises in the American church, if we should begin not by dismantling the language or gender of the Trinity itself but simply by reclaiming what it means that the masculinity of God is defined by the relational role of Father, and not by the cowboy, gun-toting masculinity popularized by many an American Christian leader or politician.

I’ve been thinking about this idea this week as Father’s Day approaches, because I’ve noticed a certain discrepancy in how the American Church approaches Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. Each year that I’ve spent in pastoral ministry, nearly a decade, I’ve been inundated by a horde of think-pieces and conversations about how the church ought to approach the secular holiday of Mother’s Day.

Some churches overdo: with chrysanthemums and applause and photo booths; other churches decide not to mention mothers at all. There is important and needed conversation about approaching Mother’s Day in church for all women: those struggling with infertility, those who are childless by choice; those who have recently lost their mothers; those who have a complicated or difficult relationship with their mothers.

As a mom myself, for almost 11 years, even I found it a little bit exhausting. There didn’t seem to be a right way to do Mother’s Day in the church. Every approach seemed over-studied and under-practiced. I did my best to pray an inclusive prayer this year and left it at that.

Now, it is Father’s Day again in 2023, and I’ve heard almost nothing about how churches and church leaders plan to address Father’s Day in the church, save for perhaps singing Chris Tomlin’s Good, Good Father, if your worship is led by guitars; or Faith of Our Fathers; if you rely on an organ. There is no hand-wringing about honoring fathers but leaving out men who aren’t dads, by circumstance or by choice. There is no exchange of prayers and litanies, or discussions about how much or how little to honor dads on Father’s Day. 

What little conversation there is about Father’s Day too often seems limited to beer and barbecue, if the cards I saw at Trader Joe’s are any indication. And this in itself is a sad commentary, for the ways it isolates and ignores the reality of alcoholism among American dads and families.

This vast discrepancy between over-conversation in the church regarding Mother’s Day and utter silence on Father’s Day reveals to me the very different ways that men and women have their identity constructed in much of American Christianity and American culture in general.

Women are almost always identified relationally: by our roles and relationships to others. We are valued for being kind, considerate, communicative and cooperative. In the church, we are too often viewed as analogous to Mary, the mother of Jesus. Motherhood has been called a Christian woman’s greatest calling, which does a great disservice to the broad and long history of female prophets, preachers and teachers, many of whom were never married.

For American Christian men, on the other hand, identity is constructed individually. The cult of rugged individualism does its greatest disservice to American men, who are encouraged to aspire to be the “strong, silent type.” After all, “there’s no crying in baseball.” The ideal American man needs nothing but his muscles, his pick-up truck, and his guns. If he is defined relationally, it is of a hierarchical sort, where he is the head of his wife and his children and his house, rather than coexisting in a symbiotic relationship.

Here’s where we must consider God the Father, however.

The idea that the Christian God has always been defined only in relationship strikes a mortal wound to the idea that the ideal Christian man must be an island, entire of himself.

After all, defining God predominately as God the Father means that the God who Christians worship is defined by God’s relationships, and as such, can exist only in relationship to God the Son and God the Holy Spirit: God in three persons, blessed Trinity.

What does this all have to do with Father’s Day in the church? Well, I’m not suggesting pinning flowers to the breast of each man in attendance, though it might be a fun idea and a good photo op. Instead, what I am suggesting first for American churches and church leaders is to simply imagine the transformative power of a witness for American masculinity that is rooted in relationship and family. Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 11 notwithstanding (and these words in context depict a familial mutuality rather than hierarchical headship), the Biblical view of fatherhood is one of quiet gentleness, forgiveness, and strength rooted in what often appears to be weakness.

This Father’s Day, if you think about or pray about or preach about fatherhood in your church, I encourage you to wonder about how differently Americans might view God if we constructed an image of God based on the father of the Prodigal Son, one of Jesus’ most powerful parables.

This father gave freely to his son what he had not earned, and then after his son abandoned him and his work, when the son returned to his father, contrite and penniless, his father did not kick him when he was down, demand restitution with interest, or spew hateful words about freeloaders and those who do not work hard enough. Instead, this gentle, forgiving, and relational father instantly forgives his son, and throws him a welcome party. Because more important than his money or his honor, this father, acting in the image of God the Father, valued love, and the dignity of each individual human life in relationship to his own.

PRAYER

Dear God,

On this Father’s Day, I’m grateful that you have chosen to interact with your creation in a model of mutual submission, love, forgiveness, and generosity. Today I pray for the fathers and father figures in my life, and I give thanks for the memories and all the times we’ve spent together, learning, laughing, and growing, even when it’s hard. I pray today for all those who are grieving the loss of a father or father figure in their life. I pray for Dads and kids whose relationship has become strained or irretrievably broken. I pray for Dads and kids who want to apologize or ask for forgiveness but haven’t been able to find the words. I pray for a line of communication in your time, dear God. I pray for release for those whose relationship with their father has been painful or even abusive, that they would find safety and hope and endurance. I pray for those who long to become dads but haven’t been able to. For those dads who have suffered the heartbreaking loss of a child. And for all those God, seeking to love as a father in the model of your self-sacrificing, honest, forgiving, patient, and welcoming love.

In Jesus’ name we pray,

AMEN

This has been a special free edition of the Sunday Stretch for all subscribers. Typically this Sunday newsletter is only for paid subscribers. Thank you all for subscribing and to paid subscribers for keeping this effort one that is sustainable for me! I look forward to sharing this time with you each week.

An Invitation

A Community that prays for one another is transformed by the power of the Spirit. We’ve been praying for and with each other now for about nine months! For the new year, and about once a quarter, I will re-start this space for prayer requests and praises. Please email with your own requests and I will share here with your permission!

1. We continue to pray for a cessation of violence and war in Ukraine, and for refugees and migrants around the world who are without a safe place to call home. In the same vein, we lift prayers of rescue and safety for the people of Sudan, who have been victimized in a war between two military leaders that has threatened the lives of civilians.

2. We pray today on Father’s Day for all fathers and father figures, giving thanks for the gift of relationship and family - that goes beyond our narrow understanding of both to encompass the love of a generous Creator.

3. We pray for all people experiencing extreme weather, and those without safe shelter or a warm/cool place to sleep at night. For all those in need of food. For all those looking for work. For those injured in travel on the roads and on the sea and on the rails, especially those impacted by a deadly train accident in India last week.

4. We pray for the people of Holy Land, for Israelis and Palestinians, Christians, Jews, and Muslims - that all will be treated with justice and be given equal rights before the government, to live, work, and practice their faith. We pray for an end to violence and protection of the vulnerable, especially children and the elderly.

5. We pray for all churches, church leaders, and volunteers as they lead congregations in this season after Pentecost. May religious leaders step aside to make way for the creativity of the Holy Spirit, and not resist the blowing winds of change and disruption.

6. We pray for the people of Iran, where protesters’ lives are being threatened and women are being arrested simply for advocating for their lives and criticizing an abusive government. We also pray for women and girls in Afghanistan, whose right to education and employment has been taken away by the ruling Taliban.

7. We pray for the victims of gun violence across America, and for brave legislators who are seeking to change overly permissive gun laws in states, like Texas, Tennessee and Kentucky, where mass shootings have recently occurred. Bring justice, resolution, truth, and mercy, dear God, and culpability to those who profit from the sale and manufacture of guns.

8. We pray for all those living and existing at the U.S./Mexico borderlands, and for migrants around the world who are seeking safety and a better life for their families. Protect and keep safe all those who travel far from home, risking their lives, especially parents, children, and seniors - and people from countries at war and under political strife, especially people from El Salvador, Haiti, Venezuela, Honduras, Colombia, Peru, Bangladesh, Afghanistan, Syria, Ukraine, Sudan, and many other countries around the world. Grant mercy and open hearts to those who work in border enforcement, and prevent violence and death at the border.

9. As school years come to an end in the U.S., bless students, teachers, families, and staff with some time of rest and restoration this summer, even in the scramble for child care and coverage for working parents. Help communities to bind together to care for one another, and to support local schools with time, money, and talents.

Dear God, we pray for renewal and hope and change in the power of the Holy Spirit, and in the Creating, Redeeming, and Sustaining God!

AMEN

P.S. …

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